As you probably well know, Michael and I were very blessed to have the opportunity to attend the Night with the Chapman concert last Sunday. I have so many thoughts running through my head about that night. Here are some...
1. Getting to ask questions to SCC and MBC is so worth the extra money we had to spend for VIP tickets.
2. Seeing the Chapmans connect and relate to our story was priceless. They offered beautiful words of wisdom, hope, and understanding.
3. My biggest impression was how honest and raw they are about their pain. Expect to see more on this in days to come. I so appreciate their claiming the freedom to grieve that so many think they can't. Grief is hard. Losing a child is awful. It is not something you get over ever. It is not something you "heal" from completely. Nor do you want to! I don't want to move past my baby. I think I will always keep a slice of this pain close to my heart. Physically, it is my only connection with her right now. The Chapmans have a beautiful story of faith and rising above, but they never downplay the pain. They never act like it was just all ok, or that it is even all ok now. They have suffered and are suffering. They questioned their faith and their God. They wrestled with huge issues. They keep wrestling with big issues. They hurt, and they aren't afraid to talk about it.
4. They have such a passion for their ministry-Show Hope.
5. Cinderella, See, Beauty will Rise, and Heaven is the Face are incredibly hard to sit through, especially if you are sitting next to your husband and he is sobbing.
6. There is a beautiful community of support between parents that have lost children. If you haven't, you can't really understand this pain. Meeting someone who is also walking this path helps me feel a little less of the weight of loneliness that I feel most of the time.
7. I need to read Mary Beth's book. She and I seem to much alike in personality. The things she was saying about God's plans and her own--I just had that same discussion at a Bible study I attend...almost word for word. (And I thought her trick on her daugther in law was hilarious) I could relate to pretty much everything she said. I have thought or experienced most of those same thoughts and emotions. Again, I need to read her book.
8. I couldn't take my eyes off of Will Franklin when he was on stage. My emotions there are a tangled up mess.
9. I loved the informal feel of the concert, but I would have loved a little more of a sit around and talk time.
10. I am too old to sit at a concert from 5-11 or to be out of the house that late. I left there starving, with a massive headache, and hurting all over, lol. And I am too old to hop right up and do school Monday morning if I wasn't in bed until 12. Contrary to popular belief. I adore sleep. Lots of sleep.
Sounds like this was a great experience for you. I'm so glad you got to attend.
ReplyDeletei am so glad you got to speak to them. i haven't read her book either but saw an interview with them and was really struck by their honesty and openness. that is truly a gift they are giving other families who are hurting. it is absolutely ok, necessary, to grieve.
ReplyDeletei can't wait to hear all about it in person.
and number 5 made me sob.
I love your heart Brandy. Your thoughts are purely real. I hope you don't ever feel like you need to get over Abigail. You don't--- she is your baby. She is a part of you, even if she is not physically here. She will forever be a part of your family's life. I am glad you got to hear the Chapman's hearts too. They are so real, their pain is so real, and so is yours. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts. I am so glad you were able to speak to them. And I hadn't heard those songs since Abigail went to heaven. It was hard for me to sit through, I can't imagine how emotional it was for you guys.
ReplyDeletePraying always.
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ReplyDeleteI loved hearing your experience and know that God had a plan for you to get such an opportunity. I am so happy for all those with whom you can talk, and connect with.
ReplyDeleteI am not able to begin to understand the pain and want so bad for this to be something that know one ever has to go through. The fact that you found some families who get it and can relate is something I hope continues to help guide your family as you travel this long road.
You are so right to say that you will never completely let go of the pain because it is the only way that you have to hold her♥ That statement, get to me right at the core, and makes me want to reach out over the internet and just hug you, and cry with you! Prayers always, my dear friend♥