Sunday, February 20, 2011

Time to blog finally!

This has been the first time I have had time to blog this week. I have so many thoughts in my head, but no time to stop and put them into type. I promise to be a better blogger once we get through next weekend. If you want to know what I have been doing with all my time, check out The Hope Project.

This week has been full of emotional ups and downs. I feel like I am on an out of control roller coaster this week...but no, not even that...maybe a bucking bull. I don't know, but I do know that the emotion is giving me whiplash. I have had some really high highs--getting my home study in the mail to immigration is a big one! Yay! We are another step closer to Grace and Malachi. The beauty of people coming together to help us with our fundraiser craziness is another. A big one this week is blogger and soon to be adoptive mom whom I have never met wanting to do a fundraiser to honor Abigail and raise awareness for back-over safety just because Abigail's story has made a difference in her life. And my biggest high is continually hearing stories of families making the leap of faith into adoption! Praise God for all of you willing to sacrifice in your own lives to make an eternal difference in the lives of waiting children!

Now my low's-Valentine's was hard. I can see her so clearly last year. The picture in my sidebar is actually from that day. She put her tutu on, over her pj's, put all her hairbows in, and feasted on her favorite dish...chocolate. Her passion and life were never so clear as on that day. This year, we went to the cemetery. I'm having a hard time with how incredibly unfair that is. We desperately miss her chaos. The lowest of the low came Friday, when I was told that her marker had been delievered. It is beautiful, but oh how it hurts to see it there with her name. It is so permanent, so final, and she is anything but. I don't know if I am going to be able to go there by myself for awhile, and that hurts. I love to go and sit with her. It is just a whole extra level of pain to have to stare at her death date right next to her beautiful face. I am so thankful we found a beautiful marker and tribute for her, but I just never wanted to have to choose that for my child, my spunky one.

This week I have also had the priviledge and honor of doing a couple of tv interviews. Thanks in particular to Beth Shelburne of Fox 6. She is doing a beautiful job telling Abigail's story and helping to spread HOPE to Birmingham. Thank you Beth for your very sensitive handling of things. That interview itself had its own highs and lows. It is always bitter sweet to talk about my Abigail. I had to go back to that day and tell the whole story, and that left me feeling very raw. I just wish so desperately that one day wasn't part of her story. However, I also was able to talk about the desperate plight of waiting children. I was able to talk about hope and healing. I was hopefully able to encourage others to ACT. I am praying for a revolution in families locally--appreciate the ones you have, and do everything in your power to help those who have no families.

And I have also dealt with frustration this week relating to some oh so famous trees in this state. More on that to come.


  1. I love you, and I'm praying, as always.

  2. cried and prayed for you today. Prayed for a long time and just ached for you. I sort of can't stand it. I need to go see her marker with you, can I go with you this week?

  3. beautiful and awful. i love you mama

  4. I have been reading your blog and I caught your story on Fox 6. I have been praying for you and your family from the time you commited to Grace and Malachi. I know a small part of your pain right now and will be in deep prayer for you and all your family until the pain lessens. My family lives in Hoover, so if you need anything just holler.

    Thanks for showing me your strong faith. It helped renew mine.

    Rebecca Koenig
    Hoover, Alabama

  5. Thank you Rebecca! I so appreciate the prayers.

    Annie-I will meet you there anytime!