First of all, I really only have random things to say, but I feel the need to get some thought down, so here I sit. I don't promise coherency.
We were so honored to be in the newspaper on Christmas. Wow. What a great opportunity to get the message out on how desperate these children are around the world. Why wait? Go get them. They need and deserve families. I am praying this article will impact Birmingham in a big way. If you haven't read it, you can find it on www.al.com
Christmas was...impossible. Thank you for all the prayers and words of support. I don't know how to even explain it. The lead-up was full of anxiety and horror. The actual days were excruciating. But here I sit on the other side. Do I feel satisfaction that I made it? No. I feel defeated that I had Christmas without my baby girl. Some people tell me that this will get easier as time goes on. I don't want it to. Does that make sense? I do not want it to get easier. If it gets easier, that means, I am getting used to living this life without my child. That is so completely wrong. I will never be used to it. I hope and pray it doesn't get "easier." I can see being able to fake it, but I refuse to do that also, so don't expect Christmas to be "easier" for me next year. Expect that I will again suffer through now 2 Christmases without my baby. The only thing worse that 1 without her is 2. I don't want that to sound bitter, although I am sure it does. I just want to be honest.
On Christmas day we went to a movie--just Michael and I. We had a gift card. Our kids went to a grandparent's house to celebrate the holiday and we went to the movies to forget for a bit. The movie was ok. Haven't seen anything good in a long time. It takes a lot to impress me these days. Look in the face of death and eternity and see how impressed you are with the new cheesy romantic comedy I used to love. It wasn't the movie that I walked away thinking about, however. It was the preview before the movie that struck me.
The preview was for a new Disney movie about orphaned baby animals from around the world. It might have been out for a long time, but I never go to the movies, so it was new to me. It was absolutely freaking adorable. You know the kind of images that make you giggle and sigh and feel gooey inside because baby elephants drinking from bottles and baby chimps playing are just so stinking cute. I want one or 2 of them. Animaniacs anyone? I want to hug them and squeeze them and call them mine.
What struck me when I finished oohing and ahhing though was that these orphaned animals, as adorable as they are, were getting so much attention--a major motion picture by Disney!! Awesome--great cause! Yet, what are the human orphans around the world getting? Why are we not standing on the rooftops screaming their story? Why are we not swimming across the ocean to rescue them? Why are stories about 13 pound 3 year olds and 15 pound 8 year olds hidden and not told? Why oh why are we not outraged at the injustices these kids face living day in and day out without a family? Why don't we act? If they were your child, how would you want them treated? Set aside because of their age or their needs? Cast off? Where is the major motion picture? Where is the call to help? A newspaper article is a good start. Like I said, I was honored to be their voice for a moment. But they need so many more voices. They need people stepping up and living life and going for them. They need you to cast aside your worries and your fears. Yes, you might have to give up cable or your big screen to afford it. Yes, you might give up some movie nights and not get to see the Disney orphaned animals movie (don't worry--it will be $1 in redbox soon). You might even have to scale back Christmas next year. However, you will get to offer life to a child. You will make all the difference in that child's life. And your life will have meaning because of theirs. You will find blessing. Donate sure. Sponor others definitely. But go get them.