Sunday, December 19, 2010

Heaviness and Hope

My heart is heavy tonight for those suffering through Christmas without their child. It is heavy for those children around the world going through Christmas without the love of a parent. It is heavy for those caught up in the materialism and mundane struggles of life. It is heavy for those who rush through each minute or waste them in escapism. It is heavy for those who feel like life has no purpose, and for those who know purpose and meaning, but feel helpless to do anything about it.

We have so much wrong in the way we live life most of the time. We obsess and worry about finding the perfect Christmas gift and how much is enough or too much, but there are children with nothing, not even the clothes on their backs. There are parents who want nothing but to hold their child one more time. All the rest seems ridiculous to me now. I am normally the first to get caught up in the rush and the busyness and the buying at Christmas. This Christmas, I just feel overwhelmed and heavy with the loneliness, the pain, the death, the hunger, the ache of those around me here and across the world. I've heard horror stories in the past few days of the life children are having to live in various places in the world. I've heard horror stories from parents who have been separated from their children by accidents that seem so frustrating and unecessary. They are real people living real lives that feel like nightmares.

No amount of escapism is going to fix these problems. I can't sit and do nothing. I can't sit knowing there are orphans desperate for families. I can't sit knowing there are grieving parents that need someone to hear them. I know that horror and pain. The hope comes in knowing this is not my home. Why do we feel so out of place here? Why do so many bounce around from one thing to another, seeking to entertain themselves and find happiness, but never really feeling satisfied? How do I keep moving even when I want to dig my hole next to my Abigail? Hope. I have hope. I have God-induced, God-given, God-originated hope. I will not sit and do nothing. I will go around the world to save a life. I will reach out to those hurting. Not because I have the answers or can solve all the problems, but because He has given me hope.


  1. I have prayed so much for this to come to point in time where things have improved and you have memories of holding Abby while supporting these children who have no home or family.

    Thank you for opening my eyes wider to the world in pain and suffering during this time or any other time of the year. I love your honesty and hold sincerely hope for those in pain to be comforted by God and guidance for all who are in pain and suffering this holiday season.

  2. praying for you always and loving you so much. <3

  3. Thank you, Brandy, for giving me so much to think about. Always praying for you, my friend.

  4. you are right, everything else seems ridiculous these days. this tragedy has really opened my eyes to what is important.