Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I warned you in the beginning that I would be blunt in this blog. I don’t do superficial. Life is too short. I get comments often where people are surprised that I share my grief the way I do. First of all, I wouldn’t make it if I tried to bottle it up. I have to let it out. The dark, lonely place I go if I don’t connect to others and bring them along on this journey is so much worse than baring my soul to those who don’t know me well (or at all in the case of this blog). But, there is also just me. I think my youngest daughter got a little of her personality from her mom. I don’t think I have quit the same zest for life that she did, but I can get very passionate. Get me talking about homeschooling, homebirthing, adoption, breastfeeding, exchange students, poverty, the church, or any history subject, and you will see how quickly I get excited and animated. I talk faster. I go into spill your guts mode and don’t know how to stop sometimes. I will talk you into things you didn’t think possible. I don’t do this because I am judging you on your own choices, or even because I think everyone needs to do things the way I do. I just love to share the things in my life that have impacted me the most-the things I wish someone would have passionately shared with me a little earlier. I think this aspect of me is why my grief comes out so bluntly. What a life changer grief is. I hope you never have to personally experience this grief, ( some of you already have) but I feel it is my mission in a way to educate others on grief, because you will come in contact with others in this world who are dealing with grief. If nothing else, maybe one will remember and be able to offer that grieving parent the support they will so desperately need. So in short, I’m sorry. I am sorry that I am blunt and bare my soul and my pain to you here. Just know, if you give me 30 seconds, I quite likely will do the same in person.